Tuesday 28 February 2017

 Hi Everyone, if 'everyone' actually exists...

So I used to do this blog when I was a 15 year old whore thinking I knew everything about the world offering shit advice such as 'make sure to shave your fanny in case you get spiked at a party'

Tragic. Isn't it? ahahah

Anyway, I am now 19 and have just read through ALL of my blogs, trying not to die of a cringe attack in the process and screenshotting the most outrageous sections to send to my friends.

Sounds like 15 year old me had a lot of fun to be honest.
(insert photo of me smoking a soggy Marlborough gold, holding a WKD whilst sitting on a pubescent boys lap)


Now I know why my mother-hen never let me leave the house....

ANYWAY, since my uni course is a pile of shit and my life has no purpose other than having great sex with my 7 inch wonder, I feel like i should restart this blogpost.


Image result for seven inches


Why do people read my blog.... WHY.

Heres a list of five things I will so beautifully be discussing

Sex - handcuff her to the bed

Pricks with drugs - do drugs but don't be knobcheese

Being Gay - experiment with all genitals, theres no homos in the afterlife

Body confidence - no one cares how big your tits are, get on the squat rack

university - who really gives a fuck? Drug dealing is always an option

I am inspirational. All hail.