Showing posts with label party. Show all posts
Showing posts with label party. Show all posts

Tuesday, 28 February 2017

 Hi Everyone, if 'everyone' actually exists...

So I used to do this blog when I was a 15 year old whore thinking I knew everything about the world offering shit advice such as 'make sure to shave your fanny in case you get spiked at a party'

Tragic. Isn't it? ahahah

Anyway, I am now 19 and have just read through ALL of my blogs, trying not to die of a cringe attack in the process and screenshotting the most outrageous sections to send to my friends.

Sounds like 15 year old me had a lot of fun to be honest.
(insert photo of me smoking a soggy Marlborough gold, holding a WKD whilst sitting on a pubescent boys lap)


Now I know why my mother-hen never let me leave the house....

ANYWAY, since my uni course is a pile of shit and my life has no purpose other than having great sex with my 7 inch wonder, I feel like i should restart this blogpost.


Image result for seven inches


Why do people read my blog.... WHY.

Heres a list of five things I will so beautifully be discussing

Sex - handcuff her to the bed

Pricks with drugs - do drugs but don't be knobcheese

Being Gay - experiment with all genitals, theres no homos in the afterlife

Body confidence - no one cares how big your tits are, get on the squat rack

university - who really gives a fuck? Drug dealing is always an option

I am inspirational. All hail. 










Saturday, 11 May 2013

alcohol tips from a idiot

Hi guys your be surprised to know I'm not actually dead!! Although I did almost die at last weeks campout ...



Soooo yeah I was that girl lying on the floor with my pants on full display, while a ginger kid held back my hair so I could puke proper....

Well the kid holding back my hair did a crappy job! Iwoke up the next morning with outmeal chunder all over my hair

SOOOOO because I have no life and I seem to have a fuck load of bad exsperience....HERE ARE TEN TIPS ABOUT ALCOHOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1..Dont be a bitch-shut up or you will get hit 

2.Eat Before the Event - Iknow lots of people want to look skinny before partys an shit but seriously if you dont eat u will throw up and look like a idiot

3. Never trust a drunk boy-they will try to fuck you

4.Shave EVERYTHING-you may feel a random urge to remove all clothing

5. Dont have herpes and kiss people-they will hate you for life, you peasant!!

6. If your gonna do drugs dont get caught- could be a very awkward conversation with mum

7. Get on facebook- Be on fb quickly the next morning for some serious untagging

8. Bring condoms-hey mum

9. Always bring your phone-you may wake up the next morning in a shed

10.Dont be a nun- It will be shit and God will hate you for going


so go get fucked ;)


XXGIBBOXX
 BYE

Saturday, 15 December 2012

CHOW

Have had a glorious sunday  with my slutty friends at the pub but I'll talk about that later.....

OK so heres us sluts in our outfits for our casually trip down to tesco

Soooooo firstly is mima 

 I'm kinda hoping she donates some of her breast fat to me for my birthday pressie

DRESS:Topshop £30

SHOES:Ebay £8.99 BARGAIN

SHIRT: H&M £14.99

BREASTS: £4000
http://www.harleymedical.co.uk/cosmetic-surgery-for-women/breast-surgery/breast-enlargement-implants-and-augmentation/



Next is Mills a future MI6 spy...so she says....
Na na naaaaaaaa



DRESS:UrbanOutfitters

SHOES: NewLook £25

ME

DRESS: Topshop £26

SHOES: Topshop £70

PARKA: UrbanOutfitters £75

TINSEL: £1 wilinsons ;)






well there we go folks.........

Also want to say congrats to mills for destroying a loo cubicle with out even toching a glass of alcohol APPLAUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!


Photo: Millie broke the loo... Golly, we can't take her anywhere..


XXGIBBOXX