Hi Everyone, if 'everyone' actually exists...

So I used to do this blog when I was a 15 year old whore thinking I knew everything about the world offering shit advice such as 'make sure to shave your fanny in case you get spiked at a party'

Tragic. Isn't it? ahahah

Anyway, I am now 19 and have just read through ALL of my blogs, trying not to die of a cringe attack in the process and screenshotting the most outrageous sections to send to my friends.

Sounds like 15 year old me had a lot of fun to be honest.
(insert photo of me smoking a soggy Marlborough gold, holding a WKD whilst sitting on a pubescent boys lap)


Now I know why my mother-hen never let me leave the house....

ANYWAY, since my uni course is a pile of shit and my life has no purpose other than having great sex with my 7 inch wonder, I feel like i should restart this blogpost.





Why do people read my blog.... WHY.

Heres a list of five things I will so beautifully be discussing

Sex - handcuff her to the bed

Pricks with drugs - do drugs but don't be knobcheese

Being Gay - experiment with all genitals, theres no homos in the afterlife

Body confidence - no one cares how big your tits are, get on the squat rack

university - who really gives a fuck? Drug dealing is always an option

I am inspirational. All hail. 

alcohol tips from a idiot

Hi guys your be surprised to know I'm not actually dead!! Although I did almost die at last weeks campout ...



Soooo yeah I was that girl lying on the floor with my pants on full display, while a ginger kid held back my hair so I could puke proper....

Well the kid holding back my hair did a crappy job! Iwoke up the next morning with outmeal chunder all over my hair

SOOOOO because I have no life and I seem to have a fuck load of bad exsperience....HERE ARE TEN TIPS ABOUT ALCOHOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1..Dont be a bitch-shut up or you will get hit 

2.Eat Before the Event - Iknow lots of people want to look skinny before partys an shit but seriously if you dont eat u will throw up and look like a idiot

3. Never trust a drunk boy-they will try to fuck you

4.Shave EVERYTHING-you may feel a random urge to remove all clothing

5. Dont have herpes and kiss people-they will hate you for life, you peasant!!

6. If your gonna do drugs dont get caught- could be a very awkward conversation with mum

7. Get on facebook- Be on fb quickly the next morning for some serious untagging

8. Bring condoms-hey mum

9. Always bring your phone-you may wake up the next morning in a shed

10.Dont be a nun- It will be shit and God will hate you for going


so go get fucked ;)


XXGIBBOXX
 BYE